Where can we find those parts of self that still need a little work?
Making the personal decision not to hide from yourself is the best action you can take to move your life in a positive direction. How do we find where we are hiding ourselves? The first thing we can do is avoid falling prey to defensive philosophies that discourage us from confronting our failures. It is important to observe those dark, honest moments when we are able to recognize everything that is missing from our lives without seeking fault or blame. Just confront these head on. Everyone has thoughts and emotions that creep up within, typically stemming from poor, often irreversible decisions, or personal impressions of success developed in childhood.
These thoughts and emotions of failure cause deep humiliation, especially in the face of what we desire for our lives but for one reason or another lack the talent to have. That is when we are in contact with those who have what we actually want. If this sounds like envy, in a general sense it is, yet it is much harder to recognize. We are not discussing surface level envy but rather a very deep-seated “shadow.” And the more we refuse to look at these shadow aspects in our lives, the more unhappiness we create for ourselves.
That’s why it’s so important to embrace the unknown, not only the unknown things in our physical world, but the unknown feelings within. It is so easy to wrap ourselves in identity politics, religion, fascist groups and charismatic leaders these days. There is a news station for everyone, a blog site for everyone, a movement of every sort. Essentially, all these groups make our lack of talent and failure to grow personally feel good and acceptable. Often these groups instill a sense of pride in failure. This is not explicitly stated of course. Again, this is about taking a deeper look.
For example, some Christians gravitate towards concepts of piety and imbibe a certain sense of evil in the wealthy. Others gravitate towards ideals of becoming wealthy through giving to righteous causes. Then there are those Christians who believe specific races are inherently holy. Wherever we find ourselves moving towards separation, we will also find deep fears and areas of humiliation. Note: I am not picking on Christianity—my focus is on the philosophy one gravitates towards, not the religion itself. For example, leaning towards ideals of piety may mean we have some deep-seated regrets or fears in the face of wealthy people or that we see wealth as the success we lack the talent to achieve. There is no standard answer to figuring out the self but when we look in dark areas of our lives we are sure to find keys to unlocking who we are and our actual talents.
When we begin to discover our own gifts, we lose the need to separate ourselves. Instead, we began to focus on sharing with everyone. We even take pride in those things that used to humiliate us. Finding strength in your weaknesses means acknowledging them. Be determined to stay in the game of life. Avoid placing yourself in a vacuum of “me versus them” ideologies, and watch your life develop into something you’ve always wanted.
-Cocoa
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